As I sit down to type, my hands are literally CRACKING due to what can only be described as the worst case of dry skin I've ever had. Knuckles, fingers, everywhere; they resemble a bleeding, albino elephant hide. Add to that the fact that I picked up my old nail biting habbit with a vengeance, and you can trust when I tell you that I am in near agony.
I hate Groundhog Day. Maybe it's because my life is basically the same day in and day out anyway and it reminds me of that stupid movie (although I absolutely love Bill Murray). Maybe it's because it comes at the time of the year where I am basically at my breaking point. I've had it with old man winter, the holidays have come and gone, and it seems like it is just never going to end. Do I really need some disgusting animal telling me that I've got 6 more shitty weeks ahead? And, really, when's the last time he DIDN'T see his shadow. We live in New England. Of course it's going to be wintry for another 6 weeks.
This year, though, Groundhog Day was particularly depressing as it marked the first anniversary of the death of my dear friend's mom. I took some time to reread a lot of my blog (and some of my friend's, too) just to see what and where we were at this time last year. I am baffled that it has been an entire year, and although it has gone by in a flash, a lot has changed for me, my family, and friends. So much of it has been good, and I am so grateful to finally feel secure and settled back in. I was able to be welcomed and to welcome back family to the area, and to celebrate new babies coming into the world. However, 2009 did go out with quite a bang (followed closely by a thud) when Sam needed both stitches in his face and staples in his head in the span of 3 days. Ridiculous.
One thing that did stand out to me while I was going through my blog entries was how quickly it all seems to be going by. My youngest babies, Ben and Sam, will be starting preschool next year. My oldest baby, Will, is heading to kindergarten in September. I have been with the man I love for 13 years now. It seems like we just met. I have so so many days that I squander; praying and or screaming for them to end quickly, but I wish I could slow my whole life down a little. And, while it is hard to maintain perspective in the dead of a cold Massachusetts winter, I am trying. I am so over going to the library, doing senseless errands just to get out of the house, and picking up the same toys over and over again. I can't wait for the days of Davis Farm visits, swimming lessons, sprinklers, and long walks outside. I know my kids have had it, too. Today they made me park on the side of the road for 15 minutes while they watched a tractor move rocks. Awesome.
So I've updated my blog background. I hope it's not too Lilly Pulitzer-douchey. I just needed a taste of Spring. I know it's coming, it does every year.