Friday, January 30, 2009

WalMart is taking over the world

On our second day here, we decided to venture out. We were in need of some essentials like milk and Swiffer Wet refills. So we start driving down our winding farm road, and what to our wondering eyes would appear? No shit, there is a WalMart Supercenter about 5 minutes away. You literally drive down a road past all of these horse and buggies that are all going to the same place I am. They have a parking stable.
In the store, which is just like every other WalMart you've ever been in, there are throngs of Amish, Mennonite, and born again Christians. It struck me as a completely bizarre juxtaposition of two very different cultures. But it doesn't stop there. Everywhere you look, there are examples of our modern culture infiltrating these tight-knit, conservative communities. The girls all wear long dresses and bonnets...with SKECHERS! The boys, who dress in all black constatntly send text messages.
So many people have asked me what it's like, and to be honest, I find it to be more Hale Bop than Olde Sturbridge Village. Maybe I'm so freaked out because I'm not that into religion. But, really The Godly Home Series CD set thanking Jesus for bathing us in his blood as a "Welcome to the Neighborhood" gift? I make sure I lock my doors, because I don't think fanatics of any kind are to be trusted.
Also, for your information, the women do not wear warm colors (red, orange, pink, etc.) as it is so obviously a sign of the devil. Note for next time: Do not pack red puffer jacket as your only winter coat when traveling through central PA. Another thing I've noticed; not too much makeup, eyebrow sculpting, or hair coloring going on down here. I've already done a full wax once and have purhcased my first box of hair dye. Yes, we were only here a few days before I broke out the home waxing kit, but when your 4 year old says, " have a mustache. Good I spy, huh?" you know it's time. The procedure was done just in time for me to still be pink and puffy when I first met my neighbors, Mabel and Titus Leid, proprietors of The Wildflower Goat Farm next door. Ask me if I tried the unpasteurized goat's milk...

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